This is a date that I will never forget. A typical Tuesday that started like any Tuesday, well as typical as you can get when you work with children and Christmas is less than a month away! Coffee, preschool, coffee, lunch, more coffee, naptime for kids, coffee for me... you get it.
Morgan had already left for work when I got the call. Mom was in court and it wasn’t looking good for her. “Before you answer let me finish” my licensor said. “There are 2 boys ages 10 and 11 years old”. Why am I getting this call? We are licensed for 2 kids under the age of 5 years old. “BUT, they have a 4 month old baby sister.” Hmmm, this call just took an interesting twist.
It was no secret that I had baby fever but older boys also? I wasn’t equipped for kids over 5 years old let alone tween boys! I’ve only had girls and frankly after years of working in the grade school I was well aware of the drama boys brought. I don’t care what you say boys are more drama than girls (typically). But a tiny baby.... 😍 “Give me all the details, EVERYTHING you know.” It was all heartbreaking but didn’t seem like a risky choice for our family to help. So with a trembling voice and butterflies in my stomach I said yes. “You better check with your husband so I’m not the cause of a divorce because I called with kids over your age limit and one extra!” Glad my licensor can keep it light! Ha
I explained the kids situation to Morgan and he was much more unsure than I was, but I won, of course. “If we don’t do this they are going to separate them.” 💔
Morgan left work to come home and pace the floor with me while we waited. We got Maddy settled into Kylee’s room because we didn’t have any more than a convertible crib in the extra bedroom because that’s all we counted on needing. We put a pack and play up at the end of our bed for baby girl. Paced some more watching the clock and desperately wanting a glass of wine to calm my anxiety! Which clearly would be a no-no!
My next call was that they were taken from Mom, they had packed some clothes to bring and were heading to the hospital for check-ups. Pacing and waiting some more... My thoughts completely consumed by all the heartbreak that was going on in their world. The tears they cry, the hurt in their hearts, their fear, their loneliness. Not just the kids but their mom. They woke up that morning and got ready for school and court never knowing that they wouldn’t all be together at the end of their day, not knowing they wouldn’t be back at school tomorrow, or they wouldn’t go back to sleep in their bed that night. That would be the last morning they would all wake up under the same roof for an unknown amount of time. Another call, their check ups are done and they’re heading my way... pacing and staring out the window now.... there’s a car pulling in.... I wonder if the walk from that car to the door felt as long for them as it did me?
The boys were so scared and so sad. I just wanted to sit and cry for them but I didn’t want to scare them more. They just wanted to see where they would sleep and call their mom. My heart broke again when I had to tell them they couldn’t talk to her that night. So many questions that I couldn’t answer, so much hurt that I couldn’t take away, so much sadness I couldn’t even comfort. They didn’t want me they wanted their “real” mom, and somewhere else their “real” mom wanted them.
I loaded a basket with snacks and water bottles and took it to their room with a selection of Marvel movies. I tried to get them as comfortable as I possibly could before closing the door and saying a prayer at it. “Please Lord comfort these babies and their mama tonight. Amen”
My attention was now turned to that gorgeous baby girl still sound asleep in her car seat. I carefully unbuckled her and pulled her out. Her beautiful big eyes opened and she smiled at me, and I was instantly wrapped around her chubby little dimpled knuckle pinky. 
I walked to my chair to snuggle this sweet bundle of joy. She was perfect, absolutely perfect. A spitting image of her brothers! Dark hair, dark eyes, rolly thighs, she had all the makings of perfection. I was told she screamed her tiny lungs out at the hospital during her check up but she was calm and happy now. Her eyes moved around the room taking in everything, I can only imagine what was going through that beautiful head. By far the strangest day of her life I’m sure, as long as you don’t count birth! I rocked her continently until she fell asleep again with her big brothers taking turns peeking around the hallway corner making sure their baby was safe.
I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I worried and prayed and starred at this precious baby sleeping peacefully at the end of my bed, wondering what was to come tomorrow. That day was a roller coaster of emotions that had my mom adrenaline kicked up to high gear. I may never sleep again I thought! And if they don’t find a kinship placement for these angels I seriously might never sleep again because I was just handed a 4 month old baby. I’m 40 years old... what was I thinking? 
Morgan left work to come home and pace the floor with me while we waited. We got Maddy settled into Kylee’s room because we didn’t have any more than a convertible crib in the extra bedroom because that’s all we counted on needing. We put a pack and play up at the end of our bed for baby girl. Paced some more watching the clock and desperately wanting a glass of wine to calm my anxiety! Which clearly would be a no-no!
My next call was that they were taken from Mom, they had packed some clothes to bring and were heading to the hospital for check-ups. Pacing and waiting some more... My thoughts completely consumed by all the heartbreak that was going on in their world. The tears they cry, the hurt in their hearts, their fear, their loneliness. Not just the kids but their mom. They woke up that morning and got ready for school and court never knowing that they wouldn’t all be together at the end of their day, not knowing they wouldn’t be back at school tomorrow, or they wouldn’t go back to sleep in their bed that night. That would be the last morning they would all wake up under the same roof for an unknown amount of time. Another call, their check ups are done and they’re heading my way... pacing and staring out the window now.... there’s a car pulling in.... I wonder if the walk from that car to the door felt as long for them as it did me?
The boys were so scared and so sad. I just wanted to sit and cry for them but I didn’t want to scare them more. They just wanted to see where they would sleep and call their mom. My heart broke again when I had to tell them they couldn’t talk to her that night. So many questions that I couldn’t answer, so much hurt that I couldn’t take away, so much sadness I couldn’t even comfort. They didn’t want me they wanted their “real” mom, and somewhere else their “real” mom wanted them.
I loaded a basket with snacks and water bottles and took it to their room with a selection of Marvel movies. I tried to get them as comfortable as I possibly could before closing the door and saying a prayer at it. “Please Lord comfort these babies and their mama tonight. Amen”
My attention was now turned to that gorgeous baby girl still sound asleep in her car seat. I carefully unbuckled her and pulled her out. Her beautiful big eyes opened and she smiled at me, and I was instantly wrapped around her chubby little dimpled knuckle pinky.
I walked to my chair to snuggle this sweet bundle of joy. She was perfect, absolutely perfect. A spitting image of her brothers! Dark hair, dark eyes, rolly thighs, she had all the makings of perfection. I was told she screamed her tiny lungs out at the hospital during her check up but she was calm and happy now. Her eyes moved around the room taking in everything, I can only imagine what was going through that beautiful head. By far the strangest day of her life I’m sure, as long as you don’t count birth! I rocked her continently until she fell asleep again with her big brothers taking turns peeking around the hallway corner making sure their baby was safe.
I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I worried and prayed and starred at this precious baby sleeping peacefully at the end of my bed, wondering what was to come tomorrow. That day was a roller coaster of emotions that had my mom adrenaline kicked up to high gear. I may never sleep again I thought! And if they don’t find a kinship placement for these angels I seriously might never sleep again because I was just handed a 4 month old baby. I’m 40 years old... what was I thinking?
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